(no subject)

[bluebeard]

Gay.com has this article up about open relationships, and the virulent comments to it are pretty fucking funny.

Lemme tell ya, queens: if your anus doubles as your wedding ring, you've got some serious issues about the way you value your relationships. If your emotional structure dictates monogamy for you, great -- there's as many reasons for it as there are against, but to turn around and vilify swingers/poly people because, as you say, they're "all about the sex", while you yourself "know" your partner loves you because he fucks you up the ass, you're a hypocrite and an asshole.

Comments

[dom-ino.livejournal.com]

Here's a link. (http://www.gay.com/news/roundups/package.html?sernum=1333&navpath=/channels/health/mental/&from=homepage)

I agree with you about how identity issues affect this discussion; I fall victime to it myself, having knee-jerk reactions to langauge against open/polyfolk that is, itself, a knee-jerk. (see my own comment to the article as an example.)

What language, then, do you think would be better? It's a difficult topic to discuss without descriptors of some kind, but the moment you say "mono" or "poly" the opposing side will react with vehemence.

You're spot on about the capitalist-model effects on relationships, and there's many tendrils woven throughout both models. Modern body issues lead to sex as social acceptance/validation; consumerism leads to objectification leads to ownership, or consumerism leads to objectification leads to Collect 'Em All!.