bluebeard

apparently my brother's doctor has been asking if anyone in our family is schizophrenic, and has been grilling him with all sorts of questions about having hallucinations and such.

interesting implications. here's to hoping her suspicions are only that.

A fabulous weekend, to be sure.

Patrik is.. is.. gah. I have no words positive enough. Some people exist that rock your world so thoroughly you can't begin to communicate it. I love you, and you know it. Thank you.

Harry Hay has passed away. If you're gay and enjoy the fact that it's more-or-less "okay" these days, you have him and his peers to thank for it.

Friday evening was spent drinking vodka and eating borscht, which was a tasty combination.

Saturday was pretty low-key on my part; Puck (previously Trouble) and Patrik were busy working on Puck's poi site, so I played Ico, which is completely beautiful, and challenging in a fun way. I wish I had a PS2.

Sunday Patrik and I went for a walk in Overton Park, which amazingly is still full of mosquitos. Fuckers. Die already! Later, to Guy&Louis' for our semi-weekly meeting. Good conclusions were come to, and we finally came up with a working mission statement. Yay.

If you've never listened to Amon Tobin, go get some. Now. I'll say nothing further; just crank it and enjoy. (also: Sigur Ros has odd videos.)

Three points:

A> it's 11:41, and dad just brought me a soda.

B> new icon goodness. [wow, a picture where I'm actually looking at the camera! amazing!]

C> I saw Spirited Away last weekend, but never posted my thoughts.

It rawked. No-Face is my favorite character, by far. I suppose it's fitting that she took a train ride, considering it led up to a complete train *wreck* of an ending. That's my only complaint, really, is the ending.. the flow was totally ruined.

erm.. yeah. uh-huh uh-huh. yeap. mmh. caffeine!

Weekend happenings:

Friday, Mom dropped me off at Patrik's, and he, I, Jim and Puck went to a Vietnamese restaurant who's bname I can't remember. The sweet&sour sauce tasted more like duck sauce.

Saturday, the same group plus Guy got dolled up and went to Backstreet, which wasn't as entertaining as we'd hoped. At least I got pictures of myself with a mohawk.

Sunday, clipped the hawk off, went to Target with Patrik, then circle at Guy&Louis', and then home, home I came.

~ the end ~

I have wanted some new shoes lately...

oh, and...

what the hell is "bling bling" ? I've seen plenty of references to it lately. Something to do with hiphop?

This game rocks. It's a puzzle game with a really, really original concept behind it.

I'm trying desperately to stay awake. Resetting my sleep schedule, once again.. My body just seems to prefer being awake at night.

--- family-ness below ---

how exactly is a queerboy with his own ideas on spirituality, politics, etc, who's been alienated from his huntin', beer-guzzlin', bowling/pool-tournament-playin' father supposed to re-establish his relationship with said? wait.. re-establish? Something has to have existed in the first place for it to be a "re".

My parents raised the three of us in a way that's very atypical of their families and their generation: they allowed us to make our own decisions, and supported and promoted the aspects of our lives that seemed beneficial, even if it wasn't what they were into. When I dropped out of sports as a kid (I was a gymnast and played baseball) and started showing more interest in nature and computers, they bought me a Tandy and took me to state parks to go hiking. When I showed disinterest in church and questioned the existence of God, they said I didn't have to go. As a teenager, when I got into paganism and witchcraft, they got ahold of pamphlets and brochures to educate themselves with, and ultimately decided that it's influence on me was a good thing. They handled the whole "gay thing" pretty well, too.

On one hand, in my opinion, that's the best way for parents to handle their children. On the other, it furthered the rift that was growing between me and my family: I didn't think in the same terms that they did, and while they weren't going to try to force me to think otherwise, they didn't know how to talk to me about my own views, either. As a result, I don't know my parents very well, as people, and I think the reverse is true also. I can think of lots of ways that we're different, but few similarities.

Now, here I am as an adult(?), living under their roof again, and I run into exactly the same problems. I can talk more openly with my mom now; idle chat has gotten rather easy. She and I don't really talk about much of any significance, though.. it's always what X cousin did, or how soon Y's birthday is. Dad and I don't really talk at all, unless it's about his hunting trips, and there's not much to be said there -- "I went, I saw, I shot, we ate it." He and I don't have anything remotely near a similar sense of humor, except for dirty jokes, and he's never in a good enough mood to tell those anymore anyway.

it's very frustrating.

from WebMD's front page:

"Crawl-2-3-4! Exercise not only helps adults live healthy lives, but there's a growing consensus that babies and toddlers benefit from exercise, too."

<sarcasm>Ohhhhhhhhhhh, so *that's* what that whole "playing" thing is for.</sarcasm>

dumbasses.

a crow just came and sat on my windowsill. it sat there for a moment, and then looked at me. then it took off.

in other news, I smoked a pack of cigarettes on Sunday. Monday night, 'till Thursday, I had four cigarettes total a day. Today, I've had two.

I'm very seriously considering taking this opportunity to quit.

I've still been a little phlegmy, but I'm not coughing. My appetite has grown by leaps and bounds, which is helpful in my quest to gain weight (I'm up to 145lbs!! rock on). The nicfits are getting weaker by the day.

Otherwise, I've had a terrible time sleeping, and my restless leg syndrome has made a comeback after a blessed five month hiatus. I don't know how related those two items are to smoking less, if at all.

At least, with the lack of sleep, I read Anne Rice's Taltos in four days.

this is just wrong.

wrong, wrong, wrong.

bodypaint would be one thing. but this..! argh!