bluebeard

At work, on lunch. Wondering what's going on tonight. Got my bid off tomorrow, so I get to stay up.

Went to bed at 9:30 last night, got up at 6 this morning. Why am I tired? Caffeine. Mmm.

I'm cramping. It's annoying.

After work I need to do laundry, cut my nails, and possibly shave. I should probably mop, too. It's needed.

yeap.

Went for a walk last night to think my shit out. As I was walking, Jason just happened to pass by, and we drove around for a few minutes. Not only did he understand, he had premeditated, which was nice.. understanding always is.

He dropped me off and I continued to walk some more. Went and had a couple beers, then to IHOP for late night breakfast. Came home, slept 12 hours, and I feel much better today. It helps that the house is empty right now, except for a napping Guy.

Jason and I are gonna do dinner and stuff tonight, which should be fun. Trying to decide whether I want to drink or not. I've done a lot of that lately.

buhbye.

Work cut out early.. whee.

Had a small manic swing and took some energy out on the kitchen.

Now I smell of CitriSolv and and sitting at the iMac, listening to Ra-splooge-tina. Was gonna go out with my sister tonight, but I got preempted, and I'm left with I-wanna-go-out-ness.

Oh yeah.. and.. um.. I have to pee. In case you wanted a full update.

I had interesting dreams last night; not quite nightmares, but slightly unsettling. Considering it so rare that I remember dreams, and even more rare (like, this is a first) that I have anything near a nightmare, I thought it significant somehow.

In one, I was falling into a sea of red-tinted, screaming faces; I fell faster and faster, until the screaming was so loud that it startled me out of sleep.

This recurred three times.

I've never had such an.. abstract dream. Most of them are abstract, yes, but they deal with more solid symbols: wooden houses, abandoned buildings, and the like. The fact that this one was totally out of my pattern makes me hope that I've jumped whatever psychological hurdle I was attempting in my previous dreams.

Then again, maybe it was the salmon cakes I had for dinner.

Updating from work on my lunch break... whee.

Cats kept me up all night. I am very tired. I'm glad I have no plans this afternoon; aside from the potential of shopping for boots, anyway. I must sleep.

Had sushi with Patrik last night, which was fantabulous. Then went to see Bowling for Columbine, which had some interesting numbers, but I thought was hypocritical.

Tomorrow is *drumroll* Two Towers goodness. Louis bought ten tickets; hopefully everyone gets to sit nearby.

Thursday, dinner with Jason.

I was going to do Saturnalia with the boys this weekend, but it turns out my brother and sister are both going to be in town. They have more priority than a party.

Hrmm.. I think that's all. Got drunk a lot this past weekend. Job's going well. Still have no issues to speak of regarding my life, living situation, job, friends, lovers, anything.

I'd be more excited except for my energy level. Damn cats. Tonight, they get locked out of my bedroom. Provided, of course, I can withstand the cuddle-slut that is Ana. She's comfy.

A week with no posts. I'm a lousy LJ user. I suck. Beat me.

Anyway.

I'm out on the floor on my own at work. After a day and a half of being "guru"-d and I guess they figure I'm okay. Not that it's a difficult job. *shrug*

I need to see a chiropractor.

I need 20-eye, shiny, fire-engine-red doc martens. I saw a pair, once. Now they've disappeared into the ether. I am sad.

I also need to do laundry in the morning, and that would mean I need to be in bed right about.. 30 minutes ago.

Apparently, I'm needy right now. Or, at least, I'm again acknowledging the material needs I've put off all summer, since I finally have a paycheck.

Friday night Puck and I went to his friend Gwen's house to hang out and pick up some of the stuff he has stored in her attic. Then to his house to watch home movies.

Saturday I ran errands all morning, helped paint Marvin's room that afternoon, went to Larry's birthday meal at Molly's La Casita, came home and everyone watched Pecker, and then Guy, Louis, Puck and I went to the pumping station and were bored. Jim showed, and he came with everyone back to the house to chat a bit. That was a very long day.

Sunday I slept late. Puck made a four-course meal for everyone, which was tasty. Asparagus pate, lobster bisque, a spring salad with violet petals, and salmon, all homemade. Yum. The meeting was okay; we seem to have a new person or two interested in the project.

Went home with Jason and spent the night there. And the morning. Yay for some Jason.

And then.. back to work Monday.

I still cant find those Docs. I think my world may disintegrate without them.

blah blah blah, doing laundry and stuff.

I'm out on the floor at work. It's very very dull.

the other night was very silly of me, as I ended up hungover all day at work yesterday. That's the first time in my life I've been hungover.

Of course, every other time in my life I've gotten drunk I didn't have to work the next day.

That's what I get, I suppose.

This past weekend I discussed this with a couple other people, and they weren't able to give anything solid of their own, though were able to say they probably didn't agree with my own words. I wanted to see what others thought of the same thing:

I define hatred for another person as the following: You hate someone when you can honestly say you would like to see someone dead by your own hand and not have any ethical or moral qualms after the fact. As in, you could throttle the person, and walk away from it without ever thinking of it again. This is not the same as having someone else do the killing, or something general like "I wish they were dead."

Thoughts?

and now, to figure out how to enable IPAliases on 10.2...

Went to see Solarius.. it's pretty good. Nothing to rant and rave about, but a good watch at least.

Now I'm home, it's midnight, I'm wide awake, and restless. No idea what to do with myself.

TG is going well, I suppose.. dinner, prepared by Guy, Louis, and Jim was fantastic.

Unfortunately, most of the people here are people I'm not very familiar with, which always makes me wierd.

Add to that, I'm hypersensitive to other people's pain. If it's someone I'm close to, it's magnified. Sometimes I think this is a good thing, because it means I'm sensitive to it. when it actually happens though, all I can do is worry and I think that maybe it's not so great after all. I've been told recently that I'm good at turning my emotions off and on like a light switch.. they're wrong.