(no subject)

[bluebeard]

Another weekend spent with Patrik.. With all the time we spend together, you'd think we -were- dating. Sheesh.

Friday night was spent sitting at his house, tasting sake and orange vodka. The sake I didn't really care for; it was too much like wine for me. The orange vodka (Grey Goose) was tasty, however.

Saturday afternoon, we went over to Shelby Forest to walk the trails for awhile. The fee isn't as much as expected.. We were told it was $3-5 per person, but it actually turned out to be $3 per car. Not bad at all. They're doing this wierd honor system, where you tear a tag off of an envelope to put in your car, put the three bucks in the envelope, and stick it in a slot. It didn't seem like anyone was around at all watching who was actually paying or not.

Tennessee's screwed up funding was pretty evident; the trail we were on was in really bad condition. Two bridges had been destroyed by flooding, grass hadn't been trimmed in areas, there were lots of fallen trees that hadn't been cleared. One of the trees, and coincidentally the largest, had fallen quite recently.. The leaves were still green. While the forest was beautiful as always, it was kind of depressing to see the way things had gotten.. Makes me wonder how many employees they've had to drop..

Afterwards we went back to Patrik's to shower and cool off for a bit, and then headed down to Tom Lee Park to wander some more and watch the sunset.. Even though I know it's only a trick of perception, it's still neat to watch how it seem to go faster as it gets closer to the horizon..

We were supposed to attend the opening night of a bar one of his friends is running, called The Beauty Shop. We went, but never made it inside; the crowd was huge, and neither of us were really in the mood for it.. That and the fact that we didn't quite fit in. There's us in t-shirts, shorts, and sneakers, with everyone else hanging out in their best threads. So, in lieu of that, we went around the corner to a pizza place I've forgotten the name of, but had great food.. I had a slice of what they called Bluto's Pizza, covered with feta and spinach.. If you're ever in the Cooper-Young area, it's right across the street from Melange, it's cheap, and the food is fabulous.

Also supposed to be at the bar were Guy and Louis; we couldn't find them, so we headed over to their place to see if they were around. We apparently missed Guy in transit, but Louis was home, housecleaning.. Nathan and his ex-boyfriend-now-soon-to-be-ex-roommate Jay showed up as well.. I seem to be getting over my issues with groups.. for once I was actually able to talk some, despite Jay's constant need to dominate conversation. It was kind of annoying to see how he talked over Nathan constantly.. I totally understand now why it's been said that it's so stressful for him to live there anymore. Sad when two people can't slide into an easier friendship when their relationship ends, but things aren't always perfect, I guess.

So there's my weekend.. what else?

Good news.. My grandmother (mom's mom, who we call Meemaw) went to a casino randomly, won $1200, and has now paid off all of her debts. She's always had money troubles, so I was glad to hear about this.. Perhaps now she can get out of the house once in awhile.

Bad news.. This started happening ten days ago, but I haven't written about it yet.. My other grandmother's boyfriend, Billy, is in the hospital. :/ .. He had an aneurysm in his stomach, and lost bloodflow to both legs.. They've restored circulation, but his left foot is gangrenous, and most of it is going to be amputated within the next couple days. He'll never walk again.. This is a particularly hard blow for him, because he had a stroke just six months ago.. He was just now getting back some control of his left arm. He's been depressed out of his mind, just sitting and watching TV all day.. not even his happy pills have helped. This surely won't, either. It's always interesting how this stuff just kind of flies out of left field.. He's only 50, and before the stroke, he was in apparent good health.. blah.

Other news.. My brother, who I've been kindof working with, quit his day job with West Corporation.. For me, this means: I'm gonna be busting my ass working on that stuff for him, as he now has lots of free time to devote to the project we're working on. Truly, I should have been busting my ass on it already, but I've hardly worked on it at all. I suppose I have no choice now.. Which is good, I suppose.. incentive is always good. He'll be here for his birthday (he'll be 23) on Thursday, so he and I will talk more about it then, I'm sure, and probably some even between then and now..

I still dunno though. The project is interesting, programming is interesting, Perl alone is interesting.. but I don't have the umph for this I feel like I should. It's not terribly difficult, but I'm getting frustrated REALLY easily at the slightest thing I don't understand.. He's all talking about us being some sort of partners later on, working together on projects as well as our own on the side.. but I'm just really not sure if that's the route I want to go as a method of income. Pumping out code for other people, even freelance.. just sounds so terribly droll. Not that I have many ideas for software on my own that I'd like to put out.. I feel like I'm learning this stuff mostly just to fulfill my brother's expectations of me, and that, in turn, makes me feel limited somehow, like I could be doing something else, although I really have nothing else in mind. Another blah.

So, I finally gave in to temptation and whipped out the tarot cards, after months of them collecting dust and me giving them the eye. The reading was all about the dropping of masks and self-imposed limitations, about allowing oneself to be free, about accepting recent change as good developments and using them for the potential that they contain. These are all thoughts that have been floating around in my head lately.. Perhaps I'm finally on to something I actually need to be doing, instead of something I *think* I need to be doing. That would be quite refreshing..

My fingers are tired now.. goodnight.