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The cow says, "baGOCK!"
I's gots me uh compyootur.
My sister sent me her system, which she says she never uses anyway, and didn't feel like taking with her to her new apartment.
p-233MMX, 48megs RAM, 6gig HD, with Win95. It's unstable as all hell.. At any moment, anything will crash. I had serious issues getting Yahoo Messenger installed, and now that it works, all I can do with it is send/receive messages -- file transfers, webcams, chat, everything else crashes it. Ugh. I need to install at least 98SE.. that would probably fix most of the issues, I hope.
Anyway, at least I'm online again, and now have something other than DirectTV to distract me.
Collapse, for instance. (Jamie.. you bastard! ;))
I'm still looking for work.. if I don't get anything through the temp agencies here, I'll probably end up going back to my old job as cashier at Wal-Mart. Minimum wage, $5.15/hr.. ugh. It's money, at least, and there's no state income tax, so I'll get most of it back. I wonder if I've still got my maroon Cashier of the Month apron around here somewhere... the blue ones are horrid. heh.
I'm still of mixed emotions.. it's nice to be home, and seeing my parents every day, and getting back in touch with my old friends.. but I miss Portland, and everyone there, a lot. My parents bicker constantly.. People think I'm bitchy, they should see my dad. The tiniest little thing happens, and it's rararararararar for ten minutes.. Mom forgets the cellphone in the car, or doesn't answer a question within 15 seconds, or the satellite goes wonky 'cause of the rain, or anything stupid like that. You'd think he'd be a little happier since his eldest son just got married, the black sheep came home, and the daughter just got a killer job.. newp. Not enough, apparently. He only treats my mom that way, and it's pissing me off, bigtime. It's gotten to the point where I don't hang out with them at night much. I've mentioned it to my mom, and she blows it off like it's no big deal -- "Oh, I just laugh. Hahaha. Do you want chicken for dinner?".. Every night when he gets home he chugs a six-pack, which is bad enough in itself, but mix with the fact that he's on a high dosage of prednisone, and some other pills to regulate his cholesterol... His cholesterol level was over 400, and the doctor says he's surprised dad is still alive.. most people who hit 400 have heart attacks or strokes. I want to talk to him about my concerns.. but I'm not sure he'll listen. He can't stand to have other people point out that he's doing something wrong.. I'm afraid he'd turn on me and have a temper tantrum. I -don't- want to have tension between me and my parents so early in my attempt to build up a new relationship with them..
A big part of me thinks they should just split. They don't treat each other like they love each other anymore.. I don't even hear them saying it, ever. Sure, they cuddle on the couch.. but dad treats mom like a slave, and an object to take his frustrations out on. I can tell my mom isn't happy about it.. She won't say anything about the way she feels, but when he attacks her, she just takes it.. it pisses her off, she gets tense, and usually goes straight to bed after he gets that way. Of course, he immediately follows her, out of 25 years of habit.. I doubt that makes it better.
The only reason I know about it is because I live here.. I asked my sister what she thought, and she didn't even know. Mom's been telling her that their relationship is just peachy. I haven't gotten to talk to my brother about it, but I'm sure he'll report the same thing.. they don't get to talk to him as often as our sister, so I'm sure his perception of things is even more skewed.
Advice?
My sister sent me her system, which she says she never uses anyway, and didn't feel like taking with her to her new apartment.
p-233MMX, 48megs RAM, 6gig HD, with Win95. It's unstable as all hell.. At any moment, anything will crash. I had serious issues getting Yahoo Messenger installed, and now that it works, all I can do with it is send/receive messages -- file transfers, webcams, chat, everything else crashes it. Ugh. I need to install at least 98SE.. that would probably fix most of the issues, I hope.
Anyway, at least I'm online again, and now have something other than DirectTV to distract me.
Collapse, for instance. (Jamie.. you bastard! ;))
I'm still looking for work.. if I don't get anything through the temp agencies here, I'll probably end up going back to my old job as cashier at Wal-Mart. Minimum wage, $5.15/hr.. ugh. It's money, at least, and there's no state income tax, so I'll get most of it back. I wonder if I've still got my maroon Cashier of the Month apron around here somewhere... the blue ones are horrid. heh.
I'm still of mixed emotions.. it's nice to be home, and seeing my parents every day, and getting back in touch with my old friends.. but I miss Portland, and everyone there, a lot. My parents bicker constantly.. People think I'm bitchy, they should see my dad. The tiniest little thing happens, and it's rararararararar for ten minutes.. Mom forgets the cellphone in the car, or doesn't answer a question within 15 seconds, or the satellite goes wonky 'cause of the rain, or anything stupid like that. You'd think he'd be a little happier since his eldest son just got married, the black sheep came home, and the daughter just got a killer job.. newp. Not enough, apparently. He only treats my mom that way, and it's pissing me off, bigtime. It's gotten to the point where I don't hang out with them at night much. I've mentioned it to my mom, and she blows it off like it's no big deal -- "Oh, I just laugh. Hahaha. Do you want chicken for dinner?".. Every night when he gets home he chugs a six-pack, which is bad enough in itself, but mix with the fact that he's on a high dosage of prednisone, and some other pills to regulate his cholesterol... His cholesterol level was over 400, and the doctor says he's surprised dad is still alive.. most people who hit 400 have heart attacks or strokes. I want to talk to him about my concerns.. but I'm not sure he'll listen. He can't stand to have other people point out that he's doing something wrong.. I'm afraid he'd turn on me and have a temper tantrum. I -don't- want to have tension between me and my parents so early in my attempt to build up a new relationship with them..
A big part of me thinks they should just split. They don't treat each other like they love each other anymore.. I don't even hear them saying it, ever. Sure, they cuddle on the couch.. but dad treats mom like a slave, and an object to take his frustrations out on. I can tell my mom isn't happy about it.. She won't say anything about the way she feels, but when he attacks her, she just takes it.. it pisses her off, she gets tense, and usually goes straight to bed after he gets that way. Of course, he immediately follows her, out of 25 years of habit.. I doubt that makes it better.
The only reason I know about it is because I live here.. I asked my sister what she thought, and she didn't even know. Mom's been telling her that their relationship is just peachy. I haven't gotten to talk to my brother about it, but I'm sure he'll report the same thing.. they don't get to talk to him as often as our sister, so I'm sure his perception of things is even more skewed.
Advice?
no subject
A tactic that was described to me was to exclusively use "I" statements, rather than saying "You..." -- "I'm worried about your health." rather than "Your drinking is worrying me" or "With your cholesterol so high, do you think you should be...?"
When it comes to talking about how your mother and father are interacting, again, use "I" statements about how you feel, rather than what they're doing or how you think they should be acting towards each other. Nothing sets a person off more than saying, "You really should be nicer to her." If you're just talking about yourself, what can they say? You don't feel that way? You didn't think something? You weren't uncomfortable?
The situation won't be comfortable regardless of how well you handle it on your end of things, but with a little care in wording your concerns (be careful not to give advice or say things that could be taken as instruction -- upset parents aren't usually receptive to taking such things from their children), you can probably get through it and, hopefully, have at least a little influence in correcting the situation. If nothing else, your comments will rattle around in the backs of their heads and give them something to think about for a while. If they think about it enough, it may even get to the point where they come to a decision on their own and think the idea originally came from their own minds (which is the best way to get somebody to think/do something they're initially against doing/thinking).
I don't know if any of this made any sense or was at all helpful, but there you go.
no subject
Actually, that makes *lots* of sense, and gives me a very definite starting point. Thank you. :)
I'm very glad you mentioned it.. because the statements that pop into my head when I see it going on usually reflect how much it pisses me off, and go something like "Stop being such a bastard" or "You know you're being a fucking prick".. I knew such things wouldn't go over well, though, so I've kept my mouth shut.
god I hate confrontation. But, they've told me they want me to be a member of the family, and not just a remote son.. so I kind of feel obligated to say something.. I don't want him to drive her off, when it's probably just his health or his meds that make him so agro. now I have a start.
*bearhugs* thank you, Jamie. :)